Have now possibly dug myself into a hole of failure - I'm unable to find any motivation strong enough to get me to study. Not only that, I've taken on MORE freaking bloody study. Yeh. I've started a TEFL course. Why? Because I'm going to Peru. How? I don't know. I DO NOT KNOW.
So my life is full of fun and games for me right now. In the middle of hammering out my second and third assignments for Accounting, studying for the test, doing this TEFL course, working full time and you know, generally trying to maintain some kind of order and balance in my life, I am all out of time! Admittedly though, I am in a much better position than where I was last year. Last year I was a wreck of a person. I had to focus on just living week by week. Every small victory was something to be cherished. Now I have so much more at stake and I don't want to take any of this for granted.
But Cuzco will be awesome. Am finally biting the bullet and doing the i-to-i thing I've been dreaming of doing since ... forever. I will be teaching English in Cuzco to a group of schoolchildren and making a difference in some one's life. It might not be in an overly profound way, but it will be more than what I am doing right now.
Yes, I should really be grateful for the fact that I am doing this.
Am also extremely looking forward to Europe in January. Some people can't believe I'm going there in the dead of winter, but to me it will just feel that much more foreign, and that's kind of the whole point. So I'm gonna shove my fists into my ears, chant "lah-lah-lah-lah-lah" with my eyes firmly clamped shut and refuse to listen to people who poo-poo my winter escape. Go fugg yourself, I say. I haven't stepped off Aussie soil since 2007!
Meanwhile, my love life has taken a complete nosedive. A date? What's a date? I can't even get a guy to take me out for a "casual" coffee, let alone a proper old-school date. And those that do contact me, well ... you know that old Groucho Marx syndrome of not wanting to be a member of a club that would have you as a member (or something to that effect)? That's how I feel about the guys I've met. I don't want to go out with someone who is so willing to go out with me. He says "let's meet' up", I say "no thank you". My mother would have a heart attack if she knew I was purposefully turning away potential fathers of her future grandchildren. And that's all they'd be to her, never mind I want to actually live with the guy and have some form of compatibility with them.
But I will NOT fail my first Accounting course, and I will get through all of this because I DO NOT HAVE A CHOICE.
Feels good to have a lot on my plate though. Feels really good! =)
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